What if we focus on the actual cause rather than finding a reason that tends to justify the cause?
Although our reasons may be genuine, at times, the constant justification of our failure to embark on a pursuit or complete a task has caused a lot of stagnation, setbacks, and unimprovement.
I call this ‘excuses.’ It is often obvious that excuses are always backed by reasons or, better still, explanations. Did you miss the meeting or unable to meet the deadline because it skipped you or someone would say ‘it’s too difficult so I didn’t try again’, ‘I didn’t know how to do it so I stopped’, ‘I don’t have the resources hence there’s no need to begin this journey’.
To add up, some might say, ‘everyone is doing the same thing’ – this brings up a desire to conform rather than taking a step.
Are we truly sincere about the explanations (excuses) we give? Perhaps we just want to avoid responsibilities or never want to be tagged as unserious, so we shift the blame?
Excuses Defined
Excuses are justifications given to support a failure to act, meet an obligation, or complete a task. They stand as the ‘why’ to our inability to produce what is expected. At times, there are legitimate reasons for not being able to meet an obligation. This leads me to talk about valid and invalid excuses.
Valid and Invalid Excuses – What’s the difference?
Suppose you are part of a team of 5, working on a project, and each team member has a specific role assigned to him or her. With the project having a deadline, the team’s goal is to complete the project before the deadline. Then, in the course of the team’s progress, a team member falls sick or encounters an emergency. That specific role related to the team member is likely to be put on hold. Now, the reason for one’s inability to perform here is valid. This becomes a valid excuse because the circumstance at hand is genuine, and the team can find a way to attend to the role of the team member who encountered the emergency.
On the other hand, when a team member fails to commit to an assigned duty due to lack of motivation, forgetfulness or probably thinks that there’s enough time before the project’s deadline, hence delays in submitting his work, such excuse becomes invalid.
A lot of times, we may not even realise that we’re giving invalid excuses, but after careful consideration, we’d realise that our reasons do not justify our inability to produce. Some people even tend to become habitual excuse-givers. The focus here is to eliminate invalid excuses by targeting the root cause and finding ways to become the best at what we do.
Causes of Excuses
1. Fear
The outcome of an action at times cannot be accurately predicted. At the end, there’s either a win or a loss in every step we take. Fear stops many from giving their best shots or experiencing the lessons in every initiative. The fear of failure, the fear of change, criticisms, past and present experiences tend to hold many back from accepting the new role in their offices, church, families and the nation at large.
To avoid negative feedback that would come from others, they’d prefer not to take on the new role or begin the project. So, the question that often comes to mind here is ‘what if?’ – ‘what if it doesn’t work’, ‘what if we get rejected again?’, ‘what if I fail?’
As a result, we give excuses to be on the safer side.
2. Perfectionism
Let’s call it ‘the no mistake character’. It relates to the saying – ‘I just don’t want to make any mistake’. Perfectionists always set high standards for themselves. They often critically examine an action and the end results before they engage. As a result, it becomes difficult to complete a task due to excessive revisions or second-guessing.
Because we want it done perfectly, we often postpone what needs to be done soon. And this mostly stems from the fear that the end result won’t meet high standards. Excuses then find their roots here. One may say they’re too busy or need more information before they get to work. Their excuse masks the fear of not achieving perfection. Others rationalise their inaction by claiming they are waiting for the ‘right moment’ or ‘perfect conditions’ before they proceed, which may never come.
For instance, a person might avoid applying for a promotion, claiming they need more experience, when the underlying fear is about not being good enough. A student might delay a project, claiming they need more time to research, when the real fear is that their work won’t be perfect.
3. Lack of Motivation
Come to think of it, we sometimes embark on a particular life journey with much zeal and enthusiasm at the beginning, then after some weeks, months, or years, the zeal begins to diminish.
The internal or external drive we had initially while pursuing that goal decreases when we begin to face challenges along the way. When the burden becomes too much, we do not find the need to continue. In the end, we’ll give excuses to make us sound right with the choice we make.
4. Cognitive Dissonance
There’s a state where we truly know the exact consequence of our action, but regardless of its effect, we choose to go for it. Cognitive dissonance occurs when an individual experiences conflicting thoughts or beliefs, leading to psychological discomfort. It is holding on to two opposing beliefs simultaneously or learning new facts that contradict existing beliefs.
For instance, an individual who values health may tend to eat junk foods often just because he likes it, or one may tend to smoke with the notion of releasing stress, knowing well that smoking will affect their health negatively. With such, we change our actions to match our beliefs.
Cognitive dissonance steps in most of the decisions we take, but we often do not realise it. Check these: choosing not to address issues in a relationship to maintain peace, even if it leads to resentment; continuing in a job that feels unfulfilling or stressful because of the fear of change or uncertainty about the future; taking on extra projects or working late hours to gain approval or recognition from superiors.
The above examples harm the individual, but one will still opt for such. Now, the coping mechanism tends to be excuses. People often generate excuses to ease discomfort when faced with cognitive dissonance. They will give reasons to support the bad habits or actions when they can admit the truth and choose the right path.
Consequences of Excuses
As stated earlier, we can’t escape the effects of our choices. Habitual excuse-making goes a long way in affecting both our personal and professional lives. These include missed opportunities, lack of growth, negative impact on reputation, and reduced life satisfaction.
It is without a doubt that the man who makes excuses to deny himself the chance to seize an opportunity will not have that opportunity waiting for him for a lifetime. That’s why they are called ‘opportunities.’ They represent favourable conditions that allow individuals to achieve goals, make progress, or gain benefits.
So, imagine the favourable conditions that came your way, of which you could have taken advantage of and you replied ‘no.’ ‘No’ because you thought you weren’t good enough, ‘no’ because you’re scared of the perception of others. Excuses steal opportunities from us. They rob us of achieving greatness.
On the other side, excuses lead to a lack of growth. Growth stands as a necessary factor in production. Over time, an individual, organisation, or country is expected to have advanced in skills, knowledge, or influence.
What brings advancement is the call to the required activities needed for that advancement. For instance, an individual will need to commit two to three hours of daily training to develop a specific skill. However, when this person allows excuses to take over, their progress is hindered, resulting in stagnation or even regression in their growth.
Talking about negative impact on reputation and reduced life satisfaction, as consequences of excuses – people’s perception or evaluation about a company or an individual will be shaped by the company or individual’s performance. One may prefer a particular brand over the other based on their good customer service, over the company that delays delivery and backs it up with an invalid excuse. Thus, one company gains a good reputation while the other loses its reputation.
Ultimately, the habit of making excuses leads to a sense of unfulfillment and dissatisfaction with life. At the point of self-reflection, one would realize they missed out on a lot of experiences and growth opportunities.
Eliminating Excuses
Here are some strategies to overcome excuses:
1. Acknowledge and Confront Fear
- Identify specific fears that lead to excuses. Write them down and analyse them.
- Take small steps to confront fears and to boost confidence, begin with low-risk projects if you’re afraid of failing.
2. Improve Decision-Making Skills
- Set clear goals that align with your intentions. This will clarify your direction and reduce indecision. Remember, you can’t do everything at a goal.
- Narrow down choices to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Make decisions based on what is urgent and important.
- Set deadlines for decisions to action and prevent prolonged deliberation.
3. Address Perfectionism
- Strive for ‘good enough’ instead of ‘perfect’. Although perfection is attainable, you don’t have to be critical of yourself while you’re working towards it. You need little steps to progress.
- Accept mistakes when they occur and permit yourself to finish projects without making changes all the time.
5. Resolve Cognitive Dissonance
- Take time to assess conflicting beliefs and values. Understand how these beliefs influence your actions.
- Aim to align every action with a specific value. Make conscious choices that reflect what you truly believe. Don’t contradict them.
Excuses are major roadblocks to success. Don’t let them take away your opportunities. Eliminate them now!
I hope this piece blessed you!